Kanda's Lament VI
by WillowSioui
Summary: KandaxOC Kissa has been killed during a mission, and Kanda is having a hard time coping. For one thing, he sees her all the time, in his dreams and even while he’s awake. Will Kanda end up losing his sanity?


**Disclaimer:** I do not own -Man. This belongs to Katsura Hoshino. I do, however, own the plot. I also own Kissa.

**Plot:** KandaxOC Kissa has been killed during a mission, and Kanda is having a hard time coping. For one thing, he sees her all the time, in his dreams and even while he's awake. Will Kanda end up losing his sanity?

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***Would you know my name if I saw you in Heaven?**

**Would it be the same if I saw you in Heaven?**

**I must be strong and carry on**

'**Cause I know I don't belong in Heaven***

Kanda sits on his bed in his room, his face in his hands. His hair is down and mussed, and he hasn't slept for weeks. There is an empty whiskey bottle resting him on the bed, mocking him. Kissa had died in battle against Akuma a few weeks ago, and Kanda had locked himself in his room; locked himself into solitary confinement.

"_**Kanda, please don't be sad."**_Kanda lifts his head out of his hands, and wearily looks at the chair in the corner of his room. Sitting there, poised and proper, is Kissa in a white dress. Kanda reaches up and rubs his face, the palms of his hands scratching on his unshaven face. Kissa, or what Kanda's mind is perceiving as Kissa, gets up and walks towards him. She walks until she is in front of him, and places her hand on his cheek. Kanda closes his eyes, and leans into her hand. With her other hand, Kissa reaches forwards and strokes his hair. _**"You need to move on without me, Kanda. You need to." **_Kissa tells him, her mouth never moving. Kanda shakes his head fiercely, and his eyes well up with tears. He grabs her hands with his.

***Would you hold my hand if I saw you in Heaven?**

**Would you help me stand if I saw you in Heaven?**

**I'll find my way through night and day**

'**Cause I know I just can't stay here is Heaven***

Kanda looks up at Kissa, tears flowing down his face. Kissa goes to her knees, at the side of the bed, and smiles up at him. Kanda shakes his head once more.

"Kissa, I can't. I love you so much, Kissa. I can't move on…you are all that matters to me. Why did you have to go?" His voice cracks near the end of the sentence, and he starts crying silently. Kissa's expression softens, and she lays her cheek on one of his knees. She looks up at him with a peaceful look in her face. _**I love you too, Kanda, but I can't stay forever. **_

***Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees**

**Time can break your heart, have you beggin' please**

**Beggin' please**

**And I know there'll be no more tears in Heaven***

Kanda leans down and takes Kissa's face in his hands, and presses his lips to hers. Kanda falls forwards slightly, and looks around the room in confusion. Kissa is standing on the other side of the room. _**Kanda…please stop doing that every time I get close to you. You need to let go of me, Kanda, not keep me closer to you. **_Kanda rubs his weary face with his hands. Taking a deep and shaky breath, Kanda looks at her with a completely lost expression. He looks down to the whiskey bottle, suddenly hoping that there was something in it. He reaches for it, and lifts it to his lips, and shakes the last few drops out of it. After it is completely empty, he hurls it at Kissa. It goes right through her, and as it does she stares down at herself in shock, and the bottle hits the room wall and explodes into tiny shards of glass. Kissa looks up at him with wide eyes. Kanda stands up, his face livid, and yells at her.

"GET OUT!!!" Kissa holds her arms out in front of her, almost as if to protect herself. _**Kanda! Please calm down!**_ Kissa's pleas fall onto deaf ears. "GET OUT! AND NEVER COME BACK!"

***Would you know my name if I saw you in Heaven?**

**Would you feel the same if I saw you in Heaven?**

**I must be strong and carry on**

'**Cause I know I don't belong here in Heaven***

A iridescent tear slides down Kissa's face, and within a second she disappears from the room. Kanda turns around and starts to strike savagely at the wall with his impotent fists. After his hands become bloody with his falsely directed at his wall, he leans his head on the wall and starts to cry and scream through his teeth. There is a knocking at the door, and Kanda stumbles over. Unlocking the door and opening it, Kanda sees Allen Walker.

"What do you want?" Allen looks slightly uncomfortable at the sight of Kanda like this. He looks at the one side of the room and notices the broken bottle of whiskey. He looks back at Kanda.

"Are you okay? I heard you talking to someone…" Kanda shakes his head, then closes the door in Allen's face. Locking the door, Kanda stumbles over to his bed and flops down. Cloding his eyes, he wishes that he never wakes up. That he never has to deal with Kissa's death. That mabe, when he's sleeping and dreaming of her, she will never leave. They will be together forever.

But the next morning, he wakes up to the sight of Kissa sitting poised and proper in the chair at the other side of his room. _**Good morning, Kanda.**_

***'Cause I know I don't belong here in Heaven***

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**PLEASE REVIEW! I know I say this a lot, but this (honest to God) is the last instalment of my 'Kanda's Lament' series. Thank you for being so loyal to me.**

**~R**


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